Chocobos are lucky bastards
by Ameki-Elisa
Summary: After the game ends: Kuja moved in with Tantalus and Zidane pays them a visit...YAOI BlankXKuja


**Chocobos are lucky bastards**

**Just something I made up while studying maths…And yes, I gave Cinna a girlfriend! WARNING: the verb 'to purrrrr' is quite often used!**

Zidane grinned as he stepped out of the aircab. Everywhere he looked people stopped to bow for him and sodiers saluted. It had been that way the second he left Alexandria Castle. It was one of the many things he liked about being king. The best part of course was he got to sleep with the queen…

So Zidane was walking through the streets of Lindblum. He had decided to pay a visit to his old friends from Tantalus, and his brother, Kuja, who moved in with them three years ago.

When he arrived at the hide-out, he heard familiar voices arguing :

'Please?'

'No.'

'Pleeeaaase?'

'No!'

'Pretty pleeeaaase?'

'NO!

When Zidane entered, he saw Kuja, sitting on his knees in front of Blank.

'C'mon, baby, why won't you go out with me?' Kuja begged to Blank. Blank rolled his eyes and threw his hair back with a girly move.

'I told you…' He sighed in an annoyed way. 'You're not my type! I fall for more…manlike guys!'

'But you were nibbling my ear so sweetly last night!' Kuja pleaded.

'For the last time, I WAS DRUNK!' Blank snapped, silently adding: 'And horny…'

Zidane coughed silently, causing both to look up and blush.

'Sorry to interrupt your amorous vicissitudes…' Zidane grinned boyishly (Ameki: Is that a word?).

Kuja mumbled something and turned his head away in shame. Blank however walked over to Zidane and pulled him into a big hug. 'So glad to see you again, Ziddy-boy!' He purred. Zidane patted his back uncomfortably. 'Uhu, yes. I'm happy to see you too, Blank.' He squeeked, nearly choking. 'Say, izzat perfume, Blank?' He asked, trying not to breathe through his nose. Blank clapped his hands happily. 'Yes it is! Oh, I'm so happy you noticed! Do you like it?' Zidane smiled weakly and wiped his nose. 'Oh, yeah! You're absolutely…um…irresistible!' Blank grinned slyly and winked.

Kuja glared enviously at his younger brother, wishing _he_ was the one in Blank's arms.

Luckily, Cinna busted in and made Blank jump two feet away from Zidane, who finally released the breath he had been holding for five minutes.

'I got tickets for the Chocobo Races!' Cinna shouted excitedly while waving the tickets in front of his friends's faces. Blank plucked the tickets out of Cinna's hand.

'Oh, I've always wanted to see the Chocobo Races!' He said in a dreamy way, pressing the tickets to his chest. 'Ziddy-boy, let's go watch the Races together, shall we, honey?' He asked, grabbing hold of Zidane's arm. Zidane looked around helplessly.

'Um…I dunno, Blank, I wanna visit Baku too, and all…' He stammered, desperately trying to get out of Blank's grip.

'Pleeeaaase?' Blank whined, playfully pulling Zidane's tail. Zidane yelped.

'Um, that's a tender spot, Blank…' He chuckled nervously. Kuja's blood was boiling with jealousy. Why didn't Blank pull _his _tail like that? He harshly pushed Zidane out of the way so his tail slipped out of Blank's hand.

'Say, Zidane, why don't we all go? I'm sure Cinnahas enough tickets!' He growled, trying to hide his angriness.

Zidane jumped up. 'Yeah! That's it! We'll all go! _Very _good idea, bro!' He said a little _too _enthusiastically. Blank looked hurt.

'But I was hoping I could have some time alone with you, Ziddy-babe!' He squeeked disappointed. Zidane quickly grabbed Kuja and Cinna's arm and dragged them to the door.

'Oh, but it would be such a shame, uh…Blank. Now we can all go together!' He replied, kicking the door open. 'Let's just go and have fun, 'kay?'

Blank hung his head. 'Dammit!' He thought angrily.

AT THE CHOCOBO STADIUM

'Wow, Cinna! How the hell did you get front row seats?' Zidane asked his bloaty-bellied friend.

'From my girlfriend!' Cinna replied pridely. Zidane, Blank and Kuja snickered.

'Yeah, right, Cinna! Keep on dreaming!' They said in unision. Cinna looked hurt, but his expression grew happier as he spotted a girl running to him, waving excitedly.

'Hi, sugar!' The girl greeted Cinna, placing a kiss on both of his cheeks. His three friends gazed at him with open mouths. Cinna smirked as he turned his head to look at them.

'Hi, honey!' He said, kissing the girl fully on the lips. When he pulled back the girl blushed and looked at him surprised.

'Cinna…' She stammered, twitching her foot nervously and placing one hand on her cheek. Cinna looked satisfied. 'We're here to see the Races, baby!' He stated, trying to sound cool like Zidane always did around girls. The girl's smile grew smaller. 'Oh, darlin', you haven't heard?' She asked, taking Cinna's hands in hers. Cinna looked confused. 'Heard what?' The girl rubbed his arm. 'I'm sorry, Cinny, but I'm afraid the Races have been canceled.'

Kuja, Cinna and Blank awwwed in disappointment, but Zidane sighed in relief.

The girl pulled a page from this month's Chocobo's Nest (It's a magazine!) out of her pocket and showed it to the four boys (Ameki: If one could call Kuja and Blank boys! ).

'You see, our new champions…' She said pointing at a red and a silver chocobo. 'Our new champions, Blanck and Beauty, are two very aggressive chocobos. They refuse to be ridden by a person that doesn't have the same haircolor as they do. And now with their owners being sick…' Cinna looked at the picture, and then at Blank and Kuja. After having stared at them for two minutes, he looked at the picture again. Then his eyes moved to the girl's bosom.

She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. 'Why don't you just slobber all over me!' She said sarcastically, throwing her hands into the air. Cinna grinned and moved his eyebrows up and down. He dropped the paper, grabbed her hand and pulled her with him, towards the shabby Chocobo Motel.

'Have fun, you two!' Blank yelled after them. 'Hehe, only one more person to get rid of, now!' He thought, snickering. Kuja picked up the paper Cinna had dropped. He looked at the chocobos, and then at Blank. After that, he looked at the chocobos again, then at Blank's cute butt. He grinned evily as an idea sprung to his mind.

'So, Blank, Cinna's girlfriend said these chocobos only obey people with the same haircolor as they have, ay?' He asked, with innocent enthusiasm.

'Yes.' Blank grunted, unhappy with Kuja's presence.

'Well, it's a red and a silver chocobo, uhu?' Kuja said, pointing at the paper.

'Yes.'

'Well, I have silver hair, and you have red hair…'

'…Yes.'

'Um…so we have the same haircolor as the chocobos!'

'State your freakin' point, man!'

Kuja clenched his teeth and forced a smile. 'Oh, Blank, you're so incredibly stupid, yet so irresistibly sexy!' He thought.

'Heeeeeeey!' Zidane suddenly shouted, grasping the paper out of Kuja's hand. 'I get it! You two can ride Blanck and Beauty 'cuz you have the same haircolors!' He looked up from the paper with big eyes and a wide smile.

Kuja remained silent for a second, then he turned to Blank. 'See, _even _the monkey gets it!'

Blank clenched his fists. 'HE AIN'T A MONKEY!' He screamed furiously. Kuja stood back, Blank's sword nearly missing his neck. 'O-Okay, darlin', he isn't…' He gulped. Blank turned his back to him and threw his hair back in a cocky way. Kuja nearly drooled at the sight of Blank's beautiful, waving locks.

'So, um…Are you guys gonna ride?' Zidane asked timidly. 'I will!' Blank stated. 'What about you, shitface?' He asked Kuja, smirking. Kuja grinned. He really loved Blank's boyish charms. 'Sure, I'll ride…'

TWO MINUTES BEFORE THE RACE STARTS

Kuja looked at Blank, who was sitting on Beauty, a blood-red chocobo. The genome quickly looked around to be sure nobody was looking at them, and laid his hand suggestively on Blank's knee. 'You know, this is kinda…'

'No it isn't!' Blank snapped, pulling his leg away.

Then some guy wearing a green hat gave the signal that the race was about to start. Kuja saw how Blank wrapped his legs tightly around the chocobo's waist, and wished he was in the animal's place. The race began…

The second the gates were opened, Blanck and Beauty shot out of their stables like flaming arrows. At first, Kuja's chocobo was faster than Blank's, but eventually, Blank catched up with him. Kuja stared at him in admiration as he passed by. His hair was flowing in the wind, his body was rythmically going up and down with the chocobo's moves…Once again, Kuja wished himself in the chocobo's place. 'Why do those fucking birds get all the fun!' Kuja thought sadly.

THE END OF THE RACE

And the winner is…_pompomperompompom_…Charlie S. with his chocobo, Angel!

(No, Blank didn't win, he got distracted by Zidane sucking a lollypop…)

Kuja glared enviously at Beauty. Blank was softly petting the fur in her neck. Suddenly, Blanck (the chocobo!) pulled harshly at the rope Kuja was holding him with and the genome was dragged along with the gallopping bird. Blanck came to a halt in front of Beauty. The two birds looked each other in the eyes and warked softly. Beauty rubbed her head against Blanck's neck and they closed their eyes, purring.

'Awww…' Blank whispered, moved. Kuja blinked, then smiled slyly at Blank.

'You know…' He said, wrapping a suggestive arm around the nearly crying Blank. 'This might just be a sign…' Blank looked at him with big eyes. 'How d'ya mean?'

Kuja grinned and bent over to nibble Blank's ear, but the red-heared boy jumped out of his arms as he spotted Zidane eating a hotdog. 'Zidane!' He yelled happily, running over to his blonde friend.

Kuja cursed softly. 'Ah, don't bother runnin' aftah 'im, sweety!' A drunk man blurted. 'Ya-Ya still got me, ol' Gill! I'd do anything for a fine gal like you, I would!' He stopped to take another gulp of his beer. Kuja walked away, disgusted. 'Wait, cutie, I don't even know ya name!' The drunk yelled after him.

IN THE SHABBY MOTEL

'I'm sorry, sir, but we only have one more room…' The receptionist said.

Zidane chewed his lip. 'How many beds are there?' He asked. The man looked on the list. 'Two double beds, sir!' He answered politely. Zidane turned around. 'Is that okay with you guys?' Both of his friends turned red.

'Yes! Maybe I'll get to sleep in one bed with Zidane!' Blank thought hopefully.

'Yes! Maybe I'll get to sleep in one bed with Blank!' Kuja thought happily.

'F-Fine with me!' They said in unision, trying not to sound too eager. Zidane nodded and turned around. 'We'll take it.' He said to the man. The man hesitated a bit before giving Zidane the key and examined Blank and Kuja's blushing faces. The two turned their heads in shame. Zidane coughed, causing the man to turn his head around quickly and drop the key in Zidane's hand.

THEY GO TO SLEEP AFTER A VISIT TO THE BAR

Kuja licked his lips at the sight of the tipsy Blank, who sat on one of the beds, grinning sheepishly. Zidane, who was also a bit under the influence, curled himself up on the other bed. 'Daggah won't approve of me sleeping with other guys, so you two be nice an' share a bed, will ya?' He moaned. 'An' Kuja, don't you go takin' advantage of Blank's state, 'kay?'

'So, if we hafta sleep in one bed, let me make one thing clear…' Blank jabbered taking off his shoes. 'I wanna sleep on the right side o' the bed, got it? That's closer to tha toilet!' Kuja held his breath as he watched Blank clumsily undressing himself. When the boy tried to lower his pants, he stumbled and fell, causing Kuja to jump up and catch him.

'Heh, what the hell was that?' Blank chuckled looking up at Kuja. Kuja stared into his tempting green eyes…

'Y-Your skin is very soft…' He squeeked, letting his finger wander up and down Blank's shoulder.

'You know how I keep it so soft?' Blank purred. 'Oglop oil!'

Kuja closed his eyes burried his nose in Blank's neck. 'I love the smell of oglop oil…' He whispered. Blank giggled and slid on the bed, pulling Kuja with him so the genome landed on top of him.

He wrapped his legs tightly around Kuja's hips and nibbled his ear.

'This is great…' Kuja thought, taking Blank's face in his hands and caressing his cheeks. He gasped as Blank brought his head up to kiss him. For a few wonderful seconds, Kuja just enjoyed the feeling of Blank's lips moving passionately on his, but pulled away when the thief's quick fingers wanted to unbutton his shirt. Blank stared at him, surprised.

'Um…not now, Blank.' Kuja mumbled, mentally killing himself. 'You're drunk. And besides, these shabby motel beds make too much noise.'

Blank hung his head disappointed. 'Okay, then…'

After that, there was an uncomfortable silence. Finally, after a minute or two that seemed like eternity to Kuja, Blank spoke up:

'Can I at least see your tail?' (Ameki: His _genome_ tail, you perv!)

Kuja grinned. 'Sure…' He pulled his silver, furry tail out of the back of his pants.

Blank looked at it with a sly smile as it jumped up and down happily.

'Can I pull it?' He purred in a husky voice. Kuja's face went red.

'N-No, not now, Blank…' He stammered nervously. Blank looked hurt.

'Aw…' He sighed, causing Kuja to feel even more miserable.

'Oh, c'mon, I'm sorry!' Kuja cried, nearly melting at the sight of Blank's sad expression and desperatly trying to hold himself from jumping on top of him like an animal. Um…we'll go for a chocobo ride tomorrow, and then…you can pull my tail as much as you want!'

That offer sounded good to Blank. He looked up and grinned seductively. 'You sexy, dirty…'

Kuja quickly pressed his finger against Blank's lips, but immediatly regretted that move as Blank took his finger in his mouth and playfully sucked it. Kuja swallowed.

'Let's…wait with that, 'kay?' He choked. Blank let go of his finger and smiled innocently.

'Okay.' He said, lying down on the right side of the bed. Kuja stayed where he was, not knowing what to do next, and a little hesitant about sleeping in one bed with Blank. God knows what that little bandit would do to him once he closed his eyes. And maybe, this time Kuja wouldn't be able to pull back…After all, Blank's lips tasted divine, and Kuja longed for more.

Blank opened one eye and noticed Kuja, still standing next to the bed. He grinned and lifted the sheets.

'Hey…' He whispered invitingly. 'Are you gonna get in here, or what?' Kuja jumped up in surprise.

'W-Wha?'

'Get the hell in.' Blank chuckled, grabbing Kuja's arm. Kuja held his breath and crawled under the sheets, next to the nearly naked Blank. He felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around his waist.

'Sleep well, Kujaby-baby.' Blank purred in his neck.

'I am one _lucky_ bastard…' Kuja thought happily.

**All done! Hehe, this must be like the longest fic I've ever written! Well, it's my first yaoi fic and yes, I used cough**stole!**cough a lot of ideas from other fanfictions! **


End file.
